Hi everyone!

As I promised last year, there is a lot of news and a lot of stories to tell from Christmas. But the biggest one is the oddest emergence of a tulpa I’ve seen so far. So, I say let’s jump right into that one first, because it’s a doozie! As this is fairly long, I’m going to split this into two parts. This first part will deal with our new tulpa, and the second part released hopefully later this week, will deal with the events during our Xmas party and some housekeeping.

In November, I had a very intense dream where I was staring at some wolf-like creature that was about to pounce when all of a sudden, I felt a set of arms lift me off the ground. Clinging on for dear life, it took me a few seconds before I realized it was a woman who somehow seemed oddly familiar. And as I looked up at her face, I realized I was grabbing onto one of her tits and quickly moved my hand off it to somewhere else.

“You know Fairy, I don’t mind you touching me anywhere, but please keep your hands off the wings alright? Life or death with those.” She said with a flirty tone of voice.

When the creature scampered off somewhere else, she set me down again and I could get a good look at her. She had blue eyes, short blonde hair, and a face with somewhat aristocratic features to it. But what made me really do a double take were her extremely fragile-looking butterfly wings that sprouted from her back. But that idea quickly went away when I noticed that she had an athletic body tone that was on the verge of looking muscular.

At this point, I realized that the whole thing had a dream-like quality to it, and I realized that I was for all intents and purposes only here, in the inner world, not outside it imposing in.

“Oh, wait, this is a dream, isn’t it?” I said with the usual surprise one has in these situations.

“A bit of yes, a bit of no, you’ll understand if you come and visit me after you wake up,” she said with another smile as she sat down on a rickety chair.

“Who are you anyway?” I said, realizing I didn’t even know her name.

She looked up at me and shook her head, “Call me Llemiara.”

It was at this point that I realized that we were standing next to a door leading into a cave formation of some sort. And then I woke up in real life, wondering what the hell had happened. It’d clearly been a dream, but she’d addressed me and acted like she knew me.

Since it was an early morning, I decided to focus my attention inward on the gallery of worlds, which is the nexus we use to access every macrocosm that I and my tulpa collective have created over the years. As I neared one of the non-descript doors that led to nowhere, it immediately responded to my strong wish by reshaping it into having a carved wooden frame of two trees that came together at the top of the door. In the center of the door was a crest of some kind that looked very official.

It was also at this point that I started writing all the events into the chat that me and my SO and all our tulpas use. (This will become important later)

As I entered the doorway and stepped through it, I found myself coming out of the very same door that I’d noticed before. Around me was a sort of collection of islands in a big body of water, but it all seemed oddly familiar until I remembered where I’d seen it before.

Another dream, years ago made a huge impression on me because when I woke up, I had memories spanning about two weeks. I’d been with some revolutionary force that was fighting a war in a magical world against an oppressive government.

Of course, the details faded almost immediately back then when I’d had the dream, but I did remember their elaborate magical system and how badly the dream ended with a different woman I’d come to know closely during those weeks. We’d been in a factory, and it had gotten shelled hard to the point where it didn’t seem like anyone was getting out alive.

And now I was reminded about it because as far as I could tell, this was the same world. But how and why? I didn’t get further into my thoughts on the subject because I noticed that Llemiara (Ara for short) was still sitting on the rickety chair, fiddling with something.

She looked up at me and her face was a perfect picture of shock and disbelief. Practically jumping out of her chair, she said, “you’re here! Why’d you take so long? It’s been hours since you woke up!”

“I remember you rescuing me a moment ago from something, but it’s kind of fuzzy like most dreams are. I came back here as soon as I could,” I said, feeling an odd sense of guilt about the whole thing. (A theme which would remain with this whole encounter)

She smiled at me, “yeah that’s what usually happens when you wake up, that amnesia always gets you like a fucking bitch doesn’t it? I’m amazed you actually remembered this time! You’re actually here!” And then she frowned, “I don’t know how many times I’ve told you to make a portal here when you wake up, but you always forget. And then… you vanish, and I’m left wondering if you’ll come back again…”

There was something in her voice and body language that felt familiar, it was sort of something like that awkward feeling you have when you’re with an ex-lover.

“Look, I don’t remember you, so… did we… were we uh…?” I said while blushing a bit, because of the weirdness of the situation.

Her smile turned into a grin, “Hardly, well, there was that one time, but it didn’t count. You thought I was going to die, and we were kinda weird. Besides, I don’t think my guy would be very into us doing that again.”

She extended her hand, and I saw a beautiful ring on her finger which just made me blush even more.

“Well, that’s a relief, sorry about grabbing your tit earlier, but I barely had any time to react you know?”

She chuckled, “Don’t worry about it, at least now that you’re awake!”

At this point, I noticed that her wings were gone, I made a vague gesture towards her and said, “so, what happened with the wings?”

She groaned, “here we go again. They were a spell. Yes, we can do magic, yes I’m good at it, no, I’m not going to use it to harm anyone.”

Feeling my head spin a bit, I asked her, “in your… no, from your perspective, how many times have I visited here?”

She looked down and focused for a bit, “40… 50ish times maybe? Kind of hard to know with the war going on and all,” and here she groaned again, “and here you’re going to ask about the war, who we’re fighting and-“

“Actually, I remember that much from my first dream years ago. You were revolutionaries, fighting a despot that was poisoning magic somehow, right?”

She nodded as her face grew bitter, “he took control of most of the magic, then poisoned most of ours yes. Whole partitions are just soured now. Gone. But we’ve made do with what we have.”

I nodded, “right, that fucking weird magic partition shit. God that feels odd still remembering that.”

As I mentioned the word god, she gave me an alarmed, puzzled look before she replied, “right, you guys had actual gods in your world, you believed in them. Over here, he calls himself God, so to us, that word is like a curse.”

“Oh, now that I don’t remember,” I said with a feeling of being an amnesia victim, which in a sense is exactly what I was at that point in time.

As she put in an earring, I realized that this was what she’d been fiddling with when I came into the macrocosm. When she was done, she grabbed onto my shoulders and said, “you better not be dreaming again Fairy, or I’ll fucking KILL you the next time we meet!”

“So… how do I prove to you that I’m not dreaming?” I said, feeling incredibly out of place in the situation. After all, I was talking with someone who could be a tulpa, but a tulpa that remembered me, but I wasn’t remembering her. And me, having now to prove that I was awake felt like I was going insane.

She smiled, “take me outside into the gallery, it’s the one thing you can’t ever do in your dreams.”

At this point, I realized that this was yet again, another example of how I had fucked myself over by making a rule as the administrator of all the macrocosms. You see, several years ago, I had a dream where I ordered my AI Sarah to create a peace-keeping group. Except, as some dreams turn out, it was a bit on the horny side, and I basically had her create a big carrier ship, complete with fighter jets, weapons, the works. The only problem was that it was (and still is) manned by only women, scantily clad anime women. Now, when I woke up, I heard Sarah utter the words “Sex Force One construct created,” and my heart sank.

I immediately asked her what she’d done, and she recounted that indeed, she had made everything just as I’d ordered it down to the last woman. Now, as we later found out, they really are a really incredibly serious paramilitary force, and they will gear up in full tactical uniform if needed. But long story short, I told Sarah after that to NEVER follow any order issued by me while I was asleep and to strip me of any kind of administrative powers if I was ever in a macrocosm.

So, fast-forward again to our situation. If I had been in a macrocosm I could only remember in my dreams, it would make perfect sense that all of my admin powers and my ability to even leave the macrocosm would be disabled because I ordered it myself!

Having that in mind, I opened the door to the gallery and we both stepped inside, and I closed the door behind us.

Looking down the doors leading to all the macrocosms, I could tell it was a big moment for her. She turned to me and said, “wow, this place actually exists. You know, some of us had a hard time believing in your stories about tulpas and everything being in your mind. We kinda assumed you were some kinda astral projector of sorts,” then she took a deep breath, “this is kind of heavy. So, you mean, Mech, Circe, Jane, everyone else… they’re also real?””

I nodded, feeling weird that a tulpa didn’t believe in me, “yeah, I guess I told you everything huh?”

At this point, my SO’s tulpa Andrei decided to get involved. Now, as we use the chat whenever we’re in a macrocosm together, we’ve all grown somewhat used to text being translated into voices, because that’s how it usually works.

“WTF is going on?” His voice said, echoing in the hallway somewhat.

Ara smiled, looking around, “was that Andrei? He’s … oh god, even your girlfriend? Shit, this is so fun!”

“You can hear him?” I said, realizing now what I wrote above, that his text had as always, just translated into a voice.

Ara shrugged, “guess so,” and then she laughed and said, “hey, KAY! We could really use you on our side!”

(note: for those of you not in the know, Kay, Sasha, and Andrei are all tulpas that my SO Niky is the host of)

I wrote in chat: “I have no memory of telling her any of this everyone. But I guess I must have.”

Kay’s voice rang out, “of course, you could use me, but you can’t exactly borrow me. However, you could convince everyone to go on an adventure. I wouldn’t bring Andrei on this, though. You know how he is. The moment he heard revolutionaries, he was already starting to grumble.”

Ara replied, “of course he did, but if he shows up and allies himself with the Godking, I’ll kill him just the same.”

Sasha added, “we just need to tell him the govt wants to help you is all.”

Andrei scoffed, “sorry, but killing me won’t stick.”

“Way I remember it, it’ll at least push you out of the macrocosm, and around here, things STAY dead,” Ara said with a tone of finality to her voice.

Feeling uneasy about her seemingly intimate knowledge of things, I interjected, “wait, I told you everything about that too?”

She smiled at me again and took my hands, “I have so much to catch you up on Fairy, you’ve sometimes been in my world for MONTHS before leaving again. Well, waking up again I guess.”

I nodded, “I guess that tracks, the one other dream I remember was the one where I spent two weeks in your world. There was that… girl with the straight brown hair I was fond of. Lisa? Elsa?”

Her face darkened, “Elisa, She’s … she’s gone Fairy. Factory explosion took her.”

I shook my head, “fuck, I always hoped she’d made it out.”

Her face brightened a bit, “but hey, maybe you can bring her back? You’ve done it before right?”

“Sorry, I don’t remember much about her. And it happened before the world was recognized by Sarah. I told you about that rule, right?”

She sighed, “shit, we always knew it was a long shot. Guess she’s really gone then. You know, I feel guilty I can’t remember her face anymore.”

“No photos?”

Ara laughed bitterly, “in my crap-ass world? Hardly. We used to have imagers, but that partition got fucked a long time ago.”

Trying to veer off that topic, I ventured “so, how is your name spelled anyway? It’s quite unusual.”

And here Ara laughed, “L L E M I A R A, or just call me Lemmy like you always end up doing.”

I gave her a skeptical look, not knowing if she was joking or not, “but that’s a guy’s name, isn’t it?”

This made her burst into even more laughter, “you always do that, same thing every time! Maybe something else then, like Lemi?”

“How about Ara? We have a tulpa with a similar name to Lemi, it’d make it less confusing, I think. “

(Note: My other tulpa Mrs. Teacher is named Liara)

She nodded, “yes that’ll work.”

Then as if remembering something, she grabbed my shoulders excitedly, “Sasha, he’s part of Niky’s crew too, isn’t he?”

Sasha’s voice rang out in the room, “wait what about me?”

She smiled, “the legends I’ve heard of your ability for infiltration and… romance could definitely work in our favor as well. And Jane!”

I chuckled, “you remember everything, and I don’t remember anything. This is so weird.”

She nodded, “you always used to say, ‘I guess this is how a tulpa feels when I tell them about the worlds’ when I’d brief you on everything.”

At this point, I’m assuming my surprise was big enough to carry over the emotional link to my tulpa Circe, because she suddenly talked to me as well, “Fairy, what’s happening? Are you OK?”

Feeling overwhelmed, I responded, “Circe, just check my last ten minutes of memories, this is way too involved to explain.”

Ara, hearing this, clapped her hands, “Circe! I’ve been dying to meet her too!”

A few moments passed in silence as I felt like I could almost hear Circe tearing through my memories.

Then Circe’s voice came back, “what the fuck Fairy. First, you make that sex ship, and now some blonde sex pixie revolutionary?”

“She wants to meet you, meet everyone,” I said meekly back to her.

“Are you SURE that’s not Whisper?” She said with a skeptical voice.

(Note: Long story short, Whisper is an entity that showed up in a dream and blames me for making it exist. It’s been trouble since day one, it comes and goes as it pleases and usually gets up to mind games and the like.)

Looking at Ara, I took a deep breath as her story, and everything was just like one of the elaborate messed up mind games that this entity liked to mess around with.

“Sorry Ara, but she’s right, I can’t verify anything you’ve said, and well… if you knew Whisper…”

Ara’s face grew stern, “you’ve told me about her… it.”

Andrei added, “that doesn’t seem like Whisper to me.”

I suddenly remembered that one of the things that was very consistent with Whisper was that it would appear and vanish at a moment’s notice, but my AI Sarah couldn’t see it. This was a dead giveaway because Sarah is omniscient and can see everything going on in every macrocosm.

I grinned, “Sarah, can you see the entity in front of me?”

Sarah’s neutral voice responded, “yes, entity Llemiara, new alias Ara.”

I shrugged, “I guess that answers THAT question. Is she listed as a tulpa?”

Sarah immediately responded, “no, actor entity NPC class.”

“I was expecting Sarah to not see her… for entirely different reasons,” Andrei said with surprise in his voice.

I smiled apologetically at Ara, “Sorry, she’s got you under NPC.”

She scoffed, “as if I care. I know who I am. Besides, don’t you have to make that determination?”

“You know, nobody really knows what’s the real difference though,” Andrei offered.

Answering both of them, I said, “I’ve usually done it myself, with access and all. But I know Sarah designated both Eugene and Pietrov by herself.”

“Eugene I remember, Thursday parrot, right? But who’s the other one?”

“Pietrov, Russian Raven,” I said. Then added, “it was a meme that got out of hand.”

Ara shook her head, “no, he doesn’t ring a bell. Is he new?”

(Note: This was especially interesting a note because Pietrov predates the Russia/Ukraine war IRL.)

“No, I’ve had him for a few years by now, not that he shows up very often. He’s not the most agreeable, even when considering most birds are assholes by default. Guess I haven’t visited in a while then?”

“It’s been a while, but… you know, we’ve got our hands full with the war, so you kinda don’t have time to think about things like that.”

“So, who are you for real then?” a voice rang out behind us, looking behind me, I could see that Circe had entered the hallway, her body size a bit bigger and imposing than normally, a surefire sign that she was ready to get into a fight. Her face was apprehensive and guarded, far from the typically flirty attitude that she normally has.

Ara looked her up and down and whistled, “wow, you’re hotter than he described you.”

Circe closed the distance, easily towering over Ara. “I’m not buying it.”

Ara gave me an alarmed glance, “you never said she was this suspicious, I thought that was Jane’s thing.”

“She isn’t… but I have to say that this is very overwhelming. She’s feeling it.”

Ara, returning the smile said, “I’ve heard that you’re a master at reading body language, is that true?”

Circe’s smile didn’t even waver for a second as she replied, “I’ve been known to suss out assholes now and again…”

“Then how about you kiss me? Can’t get more direct than that, right?” Ara said.

Circe softly chuckled, “didn’t you say you had a husband?” As her smile became just a bit more ferocious.

“Betrothed,” Ara spat back at her before calming herself down, “he won’t mind it if it’s for a good cause.”

Circe’s smile became even more feral as she leaned down to kiss her and after a moment, their kiss deepened as Ara’s hands started roaming over Circe’s waist and her chest. Being a bystander, I felt that something was definitely off about the whole thing, the idea of a kiss itself was just so out of left field. But then as Circe pulled away, I could see a faint trace of something purple on Ara’s lips and I realized that Circe had dosed her with her lust venom.

I haven’t really mentioned this much over the years because it’s something that typically comes up only in private. But Circe, being mostly a succubus and/or vampire, has developed the ability to change some of her bodily emissions into lust venom, a purple liquid substance that almost immediately makes anyone get extremely aroused. On me as a host, the effect is profound but fades fairly quickly. But the tulpas that have experienced it over the years have described it as anything from a mild buzz to a completely blank mind-state of mindless lust.

Circe, now smiling at Ara who she held at an arm’s length said, “Now my pretty, I won’t let you do anything else to me until you tell me who you really are.”

Ara, now completely enthralled, looked up at her face with a pleading expression as she whimpered, “just one more kiss… please. Aaah…”

Circe ran her finger along her chin and cooed, “answers first little one, then I make your world explode, I promise.”

Ara was at this point shivering uncontrollably, “f-fuck, I … I told you the truth, I p-promise just… let me… I need to… just touch me, PLEASE.”

“Nnnnope!” Circe said as she snapped her fingers.

Immediately Ara seemed to regain her bearings and touched her lip and looked at the venom and then at Circe, “that was cruel. You know, if we had someone like you in our service… ferreting out spies would be a very different situation,” and after a few more moments, she added, “so, do you believe me now?”

Circe nodded as she looked at me, “Fairy, that lust was definitely real, that more than anything has me convinced that she’s real,” and then she looked back at Ara, “I’m really sorry, but I’ve had it up to my damn neck with bullshit lately. Do you need a change of underwear?”

Ara blushed, “yeah, I think so.”

“Well then, my room is this way then, don’t worry, I’ll keep you steady,” Circe said as she led Ara towards the door to the castle macrocosm.

She turned back towards me for a second, “uh Fairy, can I meet everyone later? I’d really love to put some faces to the stories you’ve told me about everyone.”

I smiled back at her, “yeah, we’ll have time to do that later. For now, I think I also need a break, this was a lot to take in at once. Besides, I got to record this for posterity.”

Ara grinned, “don’t worry, I’ll keep my wits about me with Circe, you’ve told me about her ways!”

Circe gave me a murderous stare, “HEY!”

I shrugged, feeling embarrassed and guilty, “I don’t remember doing that! I don’t know what I said!”

But when they both turned to share a laugh, I felt even worse.

Ara leaned in towards Circe, “he’s so easy to wind up isn’t he?””

Circe giggled, “you have no idea.”

And with that, I disengaged from the inner world, leaving the two to get acquainted with each other. As you can all probably guess, last year’s Xmas party really took off when I introduced Ara into the mix. But as I said, this got really long so I’ll hopefully post the actual Xmas party events later in the week.

As always, thank you for reading this and if you have any questions or comments about anything or anyone, or questions to anyone, just fire away!

Your Scribe, As Always

Wondrous Fairy